Where Is Home?

Right here, for me

Outside, the bee balm and echinacea stretch up and out. They seem to be taking in as much sun as they can. I, on the other hand, appreciate it in small doses, interspersed with water and cooler temperatures. As the air hangs heavy and warm, and the landscape lies stark and bright, whitewashed beneath the glaring sun, I’ve found a place to escape the weight of summer’s weather right here inside my house.

For many of us who have traveled and made a home wherever we find ourselves, there’s often something that pulls us back to another place. Sometimes it’s our own home, sometimes it’s a place that is most familiar. But, maybe at the heart of it, it’s the place where we can be our best, true selves.

When I lived in Belgium, I never thought about whether this was my home or not; it was where I lived and where my family and friends were. It’s where, without knowing it, I learned that the world was a huge, wonderful and mysterious place. But what I mostly remember is a feeling that, at that age, I couldn’t yet name. I felt secure, protected, safe. I felt that all is right with my world, even though the world out there can be scary.

At fifteen, I left that world behind without any signposts for the life ahead. The only guide I had was the one inside of me. “Here are the things that make me feel at home,” I told myself, “and so those are the things I’ll always keep in the forefront.” They included being myself, observing life up close, dreaming, working toward the life I wanted. It took some years of traveling, learning, observing but slowly the life I was meant to lead pushed through. And I know the life I live now is exactly the life I wanted.

At this stage, it includes what I call my haven, these four walls with a little piece of heaven out back, a place that I call home. Through all that life has brought the last twenty years that we have lived in it, this place has been here for us. It has seen us work and play, it has seen us sick and healthy, it has given us a place to spend time with friends and family. And when we do go off traveling, there’s nothing quite like coming back to these familiar digs. Throughout, it has allowed us to incorporate many things from other places and other homes where we’ve stayed. Right here, it gathers all of our history in one place, and gives us a space to go out from and continue to explore life and the world. There’s something about having this place where my heart and my body both feel at home.

In the hottest of summer and , yes, the coldest of winter (though it’s hard to think about right now), I’m glad to have this haven where I can be myself, keep dreaming, keep observing and continue to live the life I want.